Michael rolled back his sleeves as he entered the building, waiting for the immediate pouncing of all of his Python friends. He had an hour to prepare for the show that evening, and wanted to keep it tight so he wouldn’t have to make conversation with either Chelsea or Eric.

  He walked into the hotel and was greeted by the receptionist, who was forgotten when Annabel walked by and squeezed his hand, without saying a word.

  Something weird was going on. He’d have at least expected someone to be angry or worried that he hadn’t been seen all day, but no one seemed bothered at all.

  He made his way through the lobby and was about to go upstairs when he heard shouting coming from the rest room and a rough looking Eric Idle leapt through the doors, waving a piece of paper in his hand.

  As he caught sight of Michael on the stairs his expression calmed a little, and with a small nod, raced out through the hotel doors.

  Michael made his way downstairs and pushed open the restroom doors ever so slightly.

  John, Terry, Gilliam and Graham were all slapping each other’s backs and shaking hands, and looking very proud, and as Michael entered the room he thought he heard Terry say “finally they’ll be together.”

  “What’s going on?” Michael asked, using the most uninterested voice he could muster.

  John shrugged. “Not a lot mate. Wondering where you’d got to though.”

  Michael looked at the keys still in his hand. “I took Eric’s car for a little drive.” He said slowly, and watched their faces carefully.

  None of them reacted as he would have expected to this news, and in fact seemed not at all interested in what he’d been doing all day.

  “I take it you all know about what happened earlier today?” Michael asked and folded his arms.

  “Yeah, about that Michael…” Terry began but Michael raised his hand.

  “I don’t want it discussed.” He said and Terry made to speak again. “Do you understand? I don’t want to talk about it ever again.”

  “But there’s really something you need to know…” Graham interjected, but Michael turned his back on them, and made towards the door.

  “Look, it’s perfectly simple.” He said as he clutched the handle with one hand. “Eric and Chelsea are grown ups and can do as they wish. It’s really none of my business.” He said.

  “Michael, will you just listen for five seconds?” Terry pleaded but it was useless. Michael looked away, and then back at them.

“I’m going to get ready for the show. I’ll see you all in half an hour.” He said and made to leave.

Chelsea’s left.” Blurted Graham and Michael froze.

  “What?” came the croaked reply.

  “She left this.” Graham said and handed Michael the note she had left in the room.

  “Michael,” Michael read aloud, “I’m sorry for the pain that I have caused you. Be sure that I won’t again.” He read it again, and Terry could have sworn that his lip quivered ever so slightly.

  He coughed and looked back up at the group. “I take it Connie’s filling in?” he said and John nodded.

  “Mike…”

  “Good, good.” He said. “See you later.”

  And with that Michael disappeared.

  Terry turned to John and rubbed his forehead. “Eric’s not going to be happy with this. He gave us a job to do and we haven’t done it.”

  Gilliam shrugged. “What can we do when our object won’t listen to what we have to say to him?”

  Graham snorted. “Short of tying him down…”

  John looked at Graham, and a small grin crossed over his face. “Good idea.” He said, and motioned for the others to listen closely.

****************************************************

  Michael sat down on his bed heavily and rested a hand over his eyes. What the hell was going on here? Everything had gone crazy. Not only had one of his closest friends been sleeping with the love of his life, but they hadn’t been bothered that he hadn’t turned up and that she had left. Hadn’t they tried stopping her?

  Michael knew he was questioning this for selfish reasons. He wasn’t thinking about the show and how it might affect the performance this evening, but was more concerned with her leaving. He slammed his fist against the bed and felt the tears welling up inside of him

  “Why do you always run away?” he groaned to himself and shut his eyes before falling back onto the bed and sighing, letting the tears form pools and then wash over his cheeks and into his hair.

  Why hadn’t she stayed to clear up the mess? Why did Chelsea always have her running shoes on?

  But it occurred to him that all those years ago when Python first began, he had been the one running. He had run from responsibility, from facing up to the truth, and from the woman he was in love with. Did he have the right to question her if he had done exactly the same?

  “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he shouted loudly and slammed both fists on the bed. Was it always going to be like this every time she reappeared? Was he always going to be sat here questioning both their actions? Was he going to crying in a hotel room all his life?

  He sat up and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand, and shook his head.

  ‘It’s about time I grew up’ he said to himself and after shaking himself for a few moments, made his way into the bathroom to shower.

   *******************************************************************************

  Eric swung the car haphazardly into a slot and bounded out of it, running manically across the lot until he reached the glass doors of the airport. Dodging pedestrians all over the place he bombed for the desk, not knowing how he’d get around having to pay for a ticket on the plane.

  A young brunette girl smiled up at him as he approached and he flashed her his most winning smile, and watched as she visibly melted.

  “Hello sir, how can I help you?” she said in an English accent. Eric smiled inwardly. Somehow, the British women were always easier to butter up, maybe because they were more polite and didn’t expect a man such as himself to flatter and flirt with them so gratuitously. The American women were always making plays for him, but he enjoyed the thrill of the chase much more with English girls.

  “Hi, I know this sounds really desperate but I need to get onto one of your aircraft, for just a few moments.”

  The girl looked concerned. “I’m afraid that’s against regulations sir.” She said and looked slightly embarrassed.

  Eric looked down at his passport and sighed, knowing that this would be a killer move on his part. “Oh dear…”

  The brunette, Bernice, whose name was on her plastic British Airways badge, looked up at him with her hazel eyes full of worry.

  “I’m sorry sir, is something wrong?”

  Eric gave his most woeful look. “My girlfriend is on one of your planes and I really wanted to catch her before she goes back to England.” He snuck a glance at Bernice’s face and laughed hysterically inwardly whilst keeping his face stone still. “I wanted to propose to her.”

  Bernice’s mouth opened and closed, and she gasped with awe. The operator at the next station smiled and picked up her intra-phone and dialled.

  “Don’t worry sir,” she said, “I’ll get permission for you to board, don’t worry.”

  Eric smiled and his eyes lit up. “Really? That’d be fantastic, oh I don’t know how to thank you!” he leapt over the station and hugged Bernice to him. “Thank you so much.” He said brightly.

  Bernice smiled and laughed. “Well our job is to provide the best service possible sir.” She said and when he kissed her cheek she blushed slightly.

  Soon Eric found himself with two air technicians and a customer services representative, marching across the aeroplane docking station towards a huge British Airways plane.

  As they clambered up steps and into the cabin, Eric groaned as he realised that he would probably have to propose in front of a whole host of people, and Chelsea would probably say no and then he’d have to leave her on the plane and suddenly this idea didn’t seem so intelligent.

  The customer rep explained things to the cabin crew, who then directed Eric towards the seat where he saw Chelsea’s head resting against the window of the cabin, her eyes shut and a tired look on her face.

  He crept forward, hoping she wouldn’t look up until he got close, and cursing because she had a window seat. But it was all in vain. She opened her eyes as he approached the second row in front of her and as she looked at him in shock, she opened her mouth to speak, but Eric raised his hands to stop her.

Chelsea, I know this is a surprise.” He said boldly, knowing there was no going back. “But you can’t leave like this.”

Chelsea’s brow furrowed and she couldn’t work out why he was talking so loudly, or in such an English accent.

  “Everyone wants you to stay.” He said loudly, and the cabin hush met him full in the face. Everyone was listening to him and he felt the colour begin to rise in his cheeks.

  “Everyone?” she asked slowly, still uncertain why he was behaving so oddly.

  “Yes everyone.” He said and widened his eyes slightly to emphasise what he was trying to say, but knowing that Chelsea

  “I know things have gone a little…odd…lately,” Eric looked around quickly, before focussing back on Chelsea, whose face had changed from apprehensive to bemused. It had finally clicked with her what was going on, and she was enjoying his suffering.

  “There’s something I must ask you.”

  There was a collective intake of breath at these words and people began nodding vigorously to each other before casting their gazes back to the scene in front of them.

  “Will you stay?” Eric asked and there was a sigh. ‘That’ll teach you won’t it?’ he thought to himself.

  Chelsea folded her arms, a small smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. “What incentive to have to stay?” she asked and he cursed her inwardly.

  “I want you to stay. I want you to stay forever.” He said, and knowing he would have to give up the ghost and ask her to marry him, began to get down on one knee, much to the delight of the cabin’s people who all squealed and clapped and hushed each other with excitement.

  “Will you marry me?” he asked and Chelsea couldn’t help herself and burst out laughing.

  There was a ripple of applause before everyone waited patiently for her answer.

  She looked at Eric, who scowled slightly at her. “I don’t know if I should.” She said slowly. “I always cause pain for everyone when I’m near.”

  Eric grimaced. “You must come back Chelsea . We all need you.” He said and she looked at all of the expectant faces around her.

  How could she go back when she had let them all down? What would she say to Michael?

  Eric looked at her and smiled softly. “You needn’t worry about anything.” He said and she looked at him curiously.

  “You should go with him,” said the elderly woman next to her. “He smells divine.”

  Chelsea laughed and stood up out of her seat, to much applause and congratulations and, as she retrieved her one bag from the overhead compartment, Eric took her hand in his and planted a full kiss on her lips. The cabin felt like it had exploded with everyone cheering and clapping, and as she broke away from him, he winked at her.

  “Just for effect,” he said.

   *************************************************************************

  Michael let the water run over him, soothing his jagged nerves. He had less than half an hour to prepare himself for their run to the Bowl, and he had needed this to calm him down. As he began to hum gently to himself he heard a thud from his room and rubbed the steam from the shower door to have a look.

  Terry’s face appeared in front of him, causing him to call out and leap against the wall of the shower.

  Terry opened the shower door and turned off the water. John appeared beside him and threw a towel at Michael, before pulling him by the arm out of the cubicle.

  Graham stood in the doorway to the bathroom with some sheets tied up together into a long white snake, and he brandished it with a huge grin across his face.

  “What the hell is going on?” Michael asked in a shocked voice.

  John threw Michael some trousers and a shirt and motioned for Terry to leave the bathroom and they all waited patiently in the suite until Michael was done.

  He came out, not looking too happy, and placed his hands on his hips.

  “What the hell is going on?” he demanded.

  “We’re going to tell you some home truths Michael Palin.” John said and Graham lunged at him, wrapping the bed sheet around his arms as Michael began to struggle.

  “This is insane!” he shouted as Gilliam leapt forwards and pinned him to the chair John had brought up behind him.

  Graham bound him and Terry sat on the edge of the bed, his arms folded and his face half stern and half bemused.

  “This isn’t funny either!” said Michael as Terry watched and he grinned widely as Michael’s face flushed with anger.

  “What the HELL is going on? Please will someone speak to me?”

  Graham smirked as he applied the finishing touch of some sticky tape to Michael’s mouth, and stood back, admiring his handiwork.

  “Now Michael Palin, we just want to tell you a few things,” John said and began counting on his fingers, “without you a) buggering off as quick as you like so we don’t get to say everything we wanted, b) shutting yourself off and barging into the discussion halfway through with your stupid comments and c) talking back to us.”

  Michael scowled at him and John folded his arms. “Now it’s our turn to say what we want to you, and, you know this is the only way.”

  Michael snorted and Gilliam played slapped the side of his face.

  “Michael, about Eric and Chelsea…” Graham began and Michael frowned.

  “You have to hear this Michael. It’s important that you know this!” Terry said and looked pointedly at Michael.

  “Eric and Chelsea didn’t have sex.” Graham said.

  Michael looked unimpressed and John grimaced. “I know you don’t believe it, but we do. We believe it because we know Eric.”

  Again Michael looked dubious, but John continued. “Eric is a ladies man, we all know that, but he would never do anything to hurt you, or Chelsea. And he knows how much Chelsea means to you, and how much you mean to her.”

  Michael’s ear pricked up and he glanced around the room at his friends. They looked at him honestly and he couldn’t help but feel some doubt creep into his mind.

  “It’s true.” Terry said and nodded in earnest.

  “ Chelsea loves you,” Graham said softly.

  Michael looked up at them with sparkling eyes and shook his head.

  “She loves you.” Graham knelt in front of the chair. “And you love her.” He shook his head then. “I don’t know why you both don’t admit it before you ruin both of your lives.”

  He stood up and walked over to the window.

  “I love you both, and I don’t know why you don’t both just get over yourselves and get back together.”

  “They’re not married anymore,” John said bluntly.

  Michael cocked an eyebrow.

  “Not Eric and Chelsea.” Terry said tutting.

  “Ed and Chelsea aren’t married anymore.” John said and began pacing in front of Michael. “They’ve been divorced for two years, and, as far as I know, she’s been in love with you all that time!”

  John pointed at Michael’s mouth and nodded at Graham. “You can take the tape off now.”

  Graham grinned manically as he whipped off the tape and Michael grimaced.

  “So?” John sat back on the bed and looked at Michael, who stared at them all.

  “Why didn’t she tell me?” he said softly and Terry looked at him sideways.

  “She didn’t want to hurt you again.”

  “She should have told me. I thought we’d become friends…”

  “Michael sometimes you live in a dream world,” Graham said. “You’re my friend and everything, but really…” he made a ‘pfft’ noise and leant back in his chair.

  John smiled gently at his friend and looked at Michael. “You’ve been seeing Annabel, and have been since we’ve been in

  Graham scoffed. “Oh, that and when she did try and tell you, you had Annabel in a compromising position.”

  All eyes turned to Graham, who shrugged.

  “What?”

  Terry rolled his eyes and Gilliam snorted.

  “I was with her when we went to that club. She went off to find Michael to tell him she still loved him, but…well…”

  Michael closed his eyes, and then made a face.

  “I had no idea she still felt this way.”

  “Really? I mean, are you being honest with yourself here?” Terry asked. “I know you’ve always loved her, everyone does. The question is what are you going to do about it now?”

  Michael looked down and then at his friends. “She’s gone. There’s nothing I can do.”

  “Eric has gone to get her back.” John said and Michael’s eyes were suddenly filled with hope.

  “Has he?”

  “Whether he can get her back or not is another matter.” John said and looked stern.

  “You’ve got to sort all of this out Michael. It’s been so long since we’ve seen either of you happy, and then the only time we have was when you were both together.”

  Terry smiled softly. “You need to make the decision Michael. You need to have the courage to stand up and fight for the woman you love.”

  Michael looked down at the floor and went to brush a hand through his hair, as he did when he was nervous or thinking, but realised with a wry smile that his hands were tied.

  Graham undid the huge knot at the back of the chair and Michael rubbed his arms and hands with a slightly pained expression on his face.

  “Well?” John asked and they all watched him with baited breath.

  Michael ran his hand through his hair and a small smile played at his lips. “This decision isn’t mine alone,” he began and, as John began to look angry, he waved his hands. “But I’m going to give it my best shot.”