While I Was Shopping: Part 12

“What the HELL was that?” shouted the voice, and Chelsea felt herself begin to get ratty again. This was not what she wanted. To be stuck up a mountain in a flimsy white dress, in the wet, foggy, muddy infestation that was Python a La Scotland was not her ideal holiday, and as Terry Jones barked orders at her she felt her usually long tether begin to fray and snap.

“I said I wanted virginal. Not silly schoolgirl! Now do it again.”

She scowled at him as he called action and she performed her lines again, with what she thought was accurately what they required. She smiled gaily as Michael fell into the castle looking slightly erotic in his wet and muddied costume, his wet wavy hair framing his face and his dimples creeping slightly into his cheeks when he looked up at her. She delivered her lines and threw her hands about gesticulatory and smiled widely as Michael delivered his.

“Bollocks.” Terry said and walked onto the set. “What is this? Pantomime? Can someone please direct me to a place where real actors live?”

Chelsea put her hands on her hips and plugged her anger, but felt that any moment she would combust.

Michael looked even worse than she did and was worse off because of the dreadful state of his costume. The camaraderie that had accompanied the initial filming of the Holy Grail had slowly dissipated as the Pythons realised that not only was location abysmal, but there was also a lack of hot water and heating in their hotels, food was sparse and tasted of mulch and there was just about as much living space as there was breathing space, which meant that ultimately everyone was living in each others pockets, so much so that instead of Michael sharing a room with Chelsea, cunningly devised by himself with the innocent aid of Terry, he was also sharing it with a member of lighting and a rather drunken and disorderly gentlemen belonging to the art department.

And not only that but the money was getting tight. They had already been filming for six weeks and it seemed that they would have to wind it up within the next two, and with so many re-writes and faulty equipment, crashes, explosions and general fighting going on within the ranks, it was hard to envisage an end to it at all. And so slowly the atmosphere of new adventure had waned, and each Python, although enjoying the new experience, often in hindsight, was wondering again why they had reformed to do something such as this.

“Terry I really think you should calm down,” said a voice from the wings and Chelsea noticed that Alison had come from the hotel again, and was looking uncomfortable in her heavily pregnant position. She was at least 7 months gone now, and it always amazed Chelsea at how much larger she had become since she had first announced it.

Again a strange feeling ran over her as she looked on at her friend. Why wasn’t she getting pregnant and having children with the man she loved, and she cast a glance at Michael, who looked wearily up at her. Because he was married to Python, and there wasn’t a lot she could do about that.

Terry glanced at his wife and looked pointedly at her. “Do I interfere with your micro biology?” he asked cuttingly and she steadied her gaze at him. It was mystifying how much Alison’s presence had an effect on Terry, and she was certainly the only one who could win an argument with him. Everyone else was lucky if they got a draw, but Alison was just as stubborn and determined as her husband, and could get under his skin like no one else, not even Michael.

He sucked in a large breath and smiled sickeningly at his actors. “Please try that again.” He said and they began rolling again.

But again Terry shouted a halt, at which point Chelsea pulled off her Zoot hat and stuffed it into his arms. It was the last scene involving her in the movie anyway, and she wasn’t being shouted at for anyone’s money.

“Where are you going?” Terry asked, slightly in awe of her sudden reaction.

She turned around. “Away from you Terry. You’ll just have to use another take because I am NOT doing this scene again and being balled at by you. I’m going back to the hotel and I’m leaving.”

Terry’s mouth dropped open and Michael scrambled to his feet.

“Come back Chelsea, I’m sorry!” Terry called, but she continued walking and Michael ran quickly after her and stopped her just as she was about to push the door into the castle foreyard.

“What are you doing?” he asked incredulously.

“What does it look like Michael?” she asked sarcastically.

He flinched slightly and glanced over the top of her head before pushing her out into the dark night outside. It was a rarely dry night and you could see the stars in the sky, but Chelsea didn’t care. She wanted to be out of there as soon as possible. She didn’t think she could stand one moment more in the presence of Terry, especially in the mood he was in.

And as she watched Michael check all around them for anyone listening in she felt her heart break. There really was only so much one woman could take, and being chosen over a career more than once was devastating her. Chelsea had argued so much that she could handle it; she had said she was ok, but really, the night that they had decided to enter into the film had been it for her. She loved Michael with all of her heart, and she really thought she would do anything for him. But it seemed that she was giving everything, and receiving nothing. It was all Michael’s way, for Michael, to make Michael happy. And it wasn’t his fault, by no means, and if it was to be argued she would freely submit that it was her own fault for backing down. But this was the last straw. She loved Python, but she would never have put it over her own relationship.

And he couldn’t see it. He looked around them again and then put his hands on her shoulders.

“You can’t leave Chelsea. Terry’s just being an arse, he’ll be ok later. You know how he is, all power mad and senseless.”

She stepped back from his hands, pushing aside the need for him to hold her which had over taken her senses.

“I don’t care about Terry. He’s just the icing on the cake as they say.”

Michael looked puzzled. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

She shook her head. “Michael what about us?”

He looked around again and motioned for her to be quiet. She felt anger well within herself then and she clenched her hands in fists at her sides.

“I will NOT be quiet about this for the rest of my life Michael. I’m sick of having to be quiet about it. I’m sick of always coming second and being the secret you don’t want anyone to know about. I’m tired of being the extra part that fits in your life when you want it. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home.”

Michael looked at her seriously. “I thought you wanted to come here.” He said steadily.

Chelsea leant against the castle wall. “I only said I wanted to come because I knew if I didn’t you would feel torn between Python and me. And I’m right aren’t I? No matter how much you say you love me and will always be there for me, Python will always rule over us.”

Michael shook his head. “That isn’t true.” He said and tried to hold her hand, but she removed it quickly.

“If that isn’t so then why didn’t you tell them at the meal that you wanted to marry me. That we’d been seeing each other for nearly 5 years and that you loved me entirely?” She shook her head as his face became dumbfounded.

“I…”

She shook her head. “As long as Python is in your life Michael I will always be second, and I can’t deal with that anymore. I’m either a part of your life with Python, or I’m not in it at all.”

Michael looked at her and didn’t know what to say. His mouth opened and closed and he looked around and then back at her, and then up again.

She studied him with eyes that already knew the answer to her questions. He would never jeopardise Python, because he was truly a Python member. He would abide by a rule they had set in the beginning, and deny himself his, and her, own happiness, and live in secret if he had to to stop Python from being hurt.

“I love you Chelsea.” He said at last and tried to hug her, but she stepped backwards again, and then promptly walked away, knowing that she had just left her heart in two broken pieces outside of the castle gates.

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“Well is she coming back?” Terry asked brusquely as Michael returned.

His friend looked up at him and shook his head. No words wanted to come out of his mouth, and Michael thought if he’d tried to speak he might just burst into tears. Suddenly he didn’t want to be here either, but he was unsure of where to go.

Terry threw his arms up in the air. “Good job we got one decent take of that scene then, otherwise we’d be screwed.” He said and motioned for everyone to pack away.

Michael stood next to his friend and wanted to punch him. The love of his life had just walked out of his life, possibly for forever, and all Terry cared about was the damn reel.

“Are you ok Mike? You look kind of strange.” Alison asked as she touched Michael’s arm.

Michael nodded weakly but still didn’t say a word. There were in fact no words to describe it. At the moment the only feeling he had was in the pit of his stomach, and he felt sick with sadness.

His brain wasn’t functioning properly. Why had he let her leave? If he loved her so much why had he let her go? Why did Python mean so much to him when he might not have made it anyway without her?

Finally back at the hotel he slipped into his room to find that his roommates had gone out for the evening, and he realised with a sudden pang of sorrow that she had taken all of her stuff and had left too. He touched the pillow she had lain on the night before and picked it up, lifting it to his nose and smelling her perfume. He felt his stomach lurch and suddenly he was sobbing, his pain gushing out through the every pore in his body. He threw himself onto the bed and cried, not caring that he was making his mattress dirty with mud from his costume or that he was making it damp because of the wetness soaked into the cloth. Instead he felt that his heart was breaking as he crushed his face into the pillow some more and cried, and wished that he’d done something more to make her stay.

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“Anyone seen Mike?” asked Terry as the group piled into the bar.

The blank faces looked back at him and no one seemed to know. Alison had been strangely quiet since the incident with Chelsea, and when the guys had found out they had been out of spirits. Chelsea had been a valued member, even, as most people had called her, the seventh member of Python, and without her here to witness the final shooting, it somehow seemed incomplete.

No one except those who had been on the set had any real knowledge as to what had happened, but they knew she had walked out, and had checked with the hotel staff as to whether she had signed out or not.

“I can go and check if you want?” asked Alison, making the most noise she’d made in the entire evening.

Terry shook his head. “I’ll go.” He said, but Alison touched his hand.

“No Terry. We’ve all seen what your careful hand can do to someone already today. And you don’t particularly want Mike to walk out do you?”

There was silence as Terry sat back down defeated, sipping his pint and looking warily at the rest of the group, waiting for the attack.

Alison made her way up the stairs, stopping every now and then to catch her breath. When she reached Michael’s door she tapped it gently. She tried the handle but it was locked, and she tried knocking again.

“Michael?” she called. Something was up. He never stayed away from the group unless something was wrong.

There was no sound from the room and she began to get nervous and started knocking louder.

The door shunted open a tiny wedge and Michael’s harrowed face looked out at her from a darkened room.

“Michael what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

He shrugged. “I think I’m coming down with something.” He said. Alison looked over his clothes and realised that he hadn’t changed from the Galahad outfit yet.

“Have you slept in that?” she asked and he looked over himself as if for the first time.

“Must have,” he said flatly.

“Aren’t you going to come for a drink?”

Michael shook his head. “I really don’t feel well. I think I’ll have a shower and go back to bed. Try to rest.”

Alison nodded slowly. She didn’t know what it was but something was up. There was no particular thing she could point to, except that this sudden change in behaviour had happened when Chelsea had left. After he had gone after her.

“Michael are you sure everything’s ok?”

He nodded but she saw that a muscle in his jaw had tensed.

“It’s just because I thought you might be upset about Chelsea leaving…” she trailed off and he shook his head violently.

“Why would I be..” his voice jerked, “upset about her? It wasn’t as though we were best friends or anything..”

Alison knew he was lying. Something had been going on with them for a while, she could tell. Call it women’s intuition, but she had noticed little things, movements, glances, touches, words. She recalled the day she’d gone shopping with Chelsea and every time she mentioned Michael’s name it was as though a switch had been flicked. One way was complete detachment to him, which she didn’t reserve for the others, or the other way was a small smile, a slight blush and a complete change of subject.

And looking into Michael’s eyes now she saw that familiar red-ringed crying eyes look, and wanted instantly to hug him.

“You sure you don’t want company because I don’t think I could face all of those stairs again..” she said and he opened the door a little to let her in.

The room was messy, mainly because three people had been staying there, and Michael excused himself to go and get washed and changed as she sat down in a small bed chair next to the window.

When he came back he looked slightly refreshed, and began changing the sheets on his bed.

“What’s happened Michael? I’m not buying your story at all.”

He fluffed up a pillow. “Nothing’s happened, I just don’t feel well.” He hit the pillow and she saw his lip momentarily quiver. “It’s a coincidence about Chelsea.” He said and clamped his mouth shut as he put a cover on the duvet.

Alison looked up at her husbands’ best friend, and her friend, and sighed. He wasn’t going to tell her. She knew he never would. She wondered how he’d coped with his sisters’ death about five years ago, and her mind flickered back to the time. She remembered Terry complaining a little, although not as much as if it had been on of the others. And then Chelsea had been there. After her arrival Michael had been much more calmer, Alison seemed to recall.

Five years then. Five years of a relationship that no one had ever known about. A relationship that had obviously run deeply for Michael at least, for him to react in such a way, and had been conducted without any of the Pythons ever knowing about it.

She looked up at Michael with almost wide eyes. “Do you love her?” she asked and he looked up at her sharply. His eyes told her everything and she slipped from the chair and sat next to him on the newly made bed.

“What are you still doing here Michael? Why didn’t you go after her?”

Michael didn’t know what to say.

Alison prodded on. “Monty Python isn’t the be all and end all of life.” She said. “Sometimes the group has to wait.”

“But I made a promise.” He croaked finally.

Alison waved her hand. “A promise to not get involved with her.” She clicked her fingers. “That’s what I think of that Mike. It’s nothing. The guys would never get rid of you because you fell in love with her. They all love you way too much to do that.”

Michael felt the tears begin to fall onto his cheeks. “Python is my life Ali, I can’t help it. And I thought she understood that. We both knew it was important to keep Python in our lives, but suddenly it’s no good for her anymore.”

Alison took his hand. “You’ve been seeing this girl for five years or more and you still put Python over her? I don’t think I would’ve stuck with you for so long.”
He sniffed and looked at her.

“Terry doesn’t put Python over me. If I say Terry, ‘I want to do this with you this weekend’, he’ll do it. He’ll put aside sketches, filming, rehearsals and meetings to be with me, because he loves me. All of you think that he works twenty-four hours a day on Python, for Python, without regard for me at all, but we reach a happy medium. I know that Python is a part of him, but it doesn’t control him.”

Michael nodded slowly.

“But what I can’t understand Mike, is why you’re still sat here. If you love her so much, you should go after her. Sod the others. This is your LIFE Mike! You don’t get a second chance. And what are you going to do when you realise it’s too late and she’s gone forever?”

He nodded again and looked around his room before standing up. He then sat promptly down again.

“I have to stay for filming.” He said and Alison gave him a stern look. “I’ll wait for things to calm down, and then, when filming is done I’ll sort this all out.”

She shook her head. “It’ll be too late Michael. Believe me.”

“Thanks for your help Ali, but I have to finish filming. What’s going to happen in the next two weeks that will have an effect on what has happened?”

She sighed. “I’ve given you my opinion Mike. If you loved her as you say you do you’d fight for her.”

Michael choked. “I can’t do everything!” he said and put his head in his hands. “I wish she were here. She would tell me what to do.”

Alison rested her hand on his shoulder. “If you wanted her enough she would’ve stayed.” And with that she left the room, saddened that he still didn’t realise how much he was giving up by staying with Python, and troubled by what might happen to her two closest friends in the future.

When she reached the bar the spirits had raised slightly and her frowning figure didn’t cause that much of a stir. No one seemed particularly bothered that Michael was “ill”, or that he was “looking very down”, and no matter how many hints she dropped she could not get a single other member to go and see him.

“Terry, I think Michael would like to see you before you get so drunk it won’t make any sense to you tomorrow.” She said softly, but Terry just waved it away.

“I’ll let him sleep it off if he’s feeling bad. He doesn’t want me poking around does he?”

She shook her head. “I think it’s serious though Terry. Come on, you’re supposed to be his best friend, why don’t you just pop in.”

He looked at her and sighed. “Alison, please just let me have ten minutes to myself. I don’t want to go and see him, and I’m sure he couldn’t give a monkey’s whether I went to see him or not. Now either stop nagging or go somewhere else.”

Alison stood up abruptly and looked around the table, suddenly disgusted with the group. They had driven a wedge between two people who loved each other, and didn’t even care. They all looked up at her, each with a feeling of unease at her gaze, and as she made her way up to her hotel room, they continued drinking, but with a less jovial attitude than they had several moments previously.