“Well, I have to say that dinner was lovely,” Lisa smiled as she
and
Michael exited the Red Lion. “And the MacNultys couldn’t have
been
nicer.”
Michael nodded. “Yes, much as I hate to admit it, old Mark was
right. Very warm and charming couple there…and the black pudding
was quite extraordinary.”
Lisa looked at him and grimaced. “I still can’t believe you like
that,” she giggled.
“I don’t just like it, Lisa. It’s my favorite,” he corrected
her with a wry smile.
Lisa wrinkled her nose. “Oh, pull the other one! It’s your
favorite???”
Michael blushed slightly and nodded.
“Oh, goodness. See, I knew I had to find some fault with you,
Michael. And to think, we were doing so well…tut tut,” she said
facetiously as she shook her head.
Michael shot her a surprised look. After a moment, clarity
shone through his eyes as he realized what she was up to and decided to
play along. “Oh, Lisa, you’re not going to make me give up black
pudding,
are you?” he asked with a mock tone of fearfulness.
A slight smirk appeared on Lisa’s face as she looked at him.
He playfully rolled his eyes and sighed. “Drat. Now I have to choose
between two things, neither of which I can possibly live without…”
Lisa raised an eyebrow.
“Black pudding or Lisa? Lisa or black pudding?” he muttered in a
seemingly agonizing way.
“I can’t believe this! You’re actually deciding between me and chopped
liver??” she said in a mock incredulous tone.
Michael gasped theatrically. “Lisa! Black pudding isn’t chopped
liver! How could you utter such blasphemy?!”
Lisa continued looking at him with a raised eyebrow, actually a bit
surprised at how far they were both carrying this. She began to
smirk and within seconds, she began giggling infectiously. It
wasn’t long before Michael joined her. “Oh, we’re really being silly,
aren’t we?” he said between giggles.
Lisa nodded and stopped giggling long enough to give him a kiss on
the cheek. Michael returned the kiss and patted her on the
back.
“To be fair, I can’t believe that you detest it,” he continued as they
made their way back to his car.
Lisa shrugged. “What can I say? My grandmother used to
make it all the time when I was young…”
“Oh my, what a wonderful childhood you had, Lisa,” Michael said
facetiously. “I got my first taste of black pudding quite late in
life…near twenty-three or so. I’m envious.”
She beamed at him as he giggled. He looked so cute when he
giggled. “Anyway, gradually I got sick of it, and would rejoice
whenever we had lamb chops…or chicken…anything but black pudding.
Then, after I graduated from university, Mum and Dad moved away, and
she came to live with me. She insisted on cooking every night, as
she felt bad that I would come home from work exhausted. I
appreciated it – to a point. I suppose you can guess what she
made every night?” she finished with a wry grin.
“Ah, let me guess,” Michael began, eyes narrowing. “… Hmm, would it
perchance consist of two words, the first one beginning with a ‘b’ and
ending
with a ‘k’, and the second one beginning with a ‘p’ and ending with
‘i-n-g?’”
he asked hopefully.
Lisa broke out in giggles. “That’s correct! My, you’re
good, Michael!”
Michael shrugged nonchalantly. “It was just a lucky guess,” he
said dismissively before grinning at her.
Lisa calmed down. “Well, anyway, toward the end, when she started
falling ill, she got a little…funny. You know, forgetful, not
understanding what she read in the paper, etcetera. One evening,
I had just come home after working overtime at the library. She
had just made dinner and insisted that I sit down. Of course, it
was black pudding again. I was hesitant to eat it this time,
though, because it just didn’t look right, you know?” She looked back
up at Michael.
Michael furrowed his brow thoughtfully and shook his head. “No,
can’t say that I do, I'm afraid. I’ve never experienced bad black
pudding. At any rate, go on,” he prodded.
“Well, she kept insisting that I eat it – it’s good for me, it’ll put
some color in my cheeks –“
“What???” Michael blurted out incredulously, before dissolving into
laughter. “That is what she said??”
Lisa grinned and nodded, averting her eyes.
“Oh, dear. I’ve been offered many reasons for eating black
pudding, but I can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before,” he said in
between chuckles, as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. He
calmed down and looked
at her expectantly, wanting to hear the rest of the story.
“I couldn’t understand why she was so insistent. Apparently she
thought she had done a marvelous job making it – she made it herself,
you know. I reluctantly tried a bit, and thought I was going to
vomit right in my seat,” she recounted disgustedly.
Michael furrowed his brow in confusion and looked at her curiously.
“I don’t know what she did to it. At first I thought the pudding
had escaped from the casing, but…” Lisa paused as her eyes
narrowed and she began to appear sickened. “I’m sorry, I get a bit
disgusted just thinking about it,” she said.
“No worries,” Michael smiled.
Lisa nodded and waited until the sick feeling left her. “Alright.
Anyway, perhaps she added the wrong ingredients…I don’t know what she
did, and I didn’t ask, as she would be hurt. All I know is that
she did something different, and it wasn’t enough for me to
stomach. I excused myself and ran into the bathroom, where I
nearly puked my guts out. Since then, I can’t bring my lips to
ever touch black pudding.”
Michael looked at her and nodded. “Well, that’s certainly a reasonable
excuse,” he said thoughtfully. “Though it is a shame that you’re
missing out only because your grandmother botched the recipe.”
Lisa shrugged. “Sorry, Michael,” she smiled.
Michael smiled back. “Quite alright, Lisa. Liking the same
foods is not a necessity for being involved in a relationship.”
“That’s a good thing,” she giggled. “Speaking of which – how
do you feel about fish and chips, Michael?”
“Oh, I like a good fish n’ chips,” he said. “It’s not as high on
my list as black pudding, but it’s a close second.”
“Ah, good, then we’re making progress,” she grinned as she playfully
touched one of his dimples.
“That’s your favorite, then?” he asked her curiously.
Lisa nodded.
“Oh, please! That’s so pathetic!” he scoffed as he grinned widely
at her.
“Oh, and your black pudding isn’t?” she said in a mock
challenging tone. “All it means is that you have a cast iron
stomach. Is that supposed to be a badge of honor?”
“No, but it means I have a much more refined taste,” he said with an
heir of smugness.
Lisa rolled her eyes and swatted him across the chest.
“Ow, that hurt,” he retorted, giving her a pouty look.
“Good,” Lisa smirked. “That will teach you to insult my tastes.”
“Well, I have to admit that I did survive,” he said as he looked down
at his chest. “There’s another badge of honor for me – surviving
Lisa’s attacks.”
She stuck her tongue out playfully and swatted him again.
“Hey! That doesn’t mean I needed to be attacked again!” he said
defensively as she made her way to the passenger’s side of his car and
opened the door. She grinned as she noticed him looking at her
through the window with sad puppy dog eyes.
“Alright, I’m sorry, Michael,” she giggled as he got in.
“Apology accepted,” he smiled. “I just hope that my love of black
pudding won’t get in the way of our relationship.”
“It shouldn’t, so long as you don’t force me to eat it,” she winked.
“Damn,” he said in mock disappointment, which caused her to
giggle. He smiled at her and reached over to kiss her before they
headed off.
Lisa hummed along to music coming over the speaker system in the
supermarket. It appeared to be a Stevie Wonder song, one which
she had never heard before. She couldn’t figure out the title,
but he was singing something about someone creeping into his
dreams. She had gone just more than halfway down the aisle when
she spotted a large assortment of Walker’s Shortbread. She headed
over to the shelf and dropped a few boxes into her basket. Her
mother had always had plenty of it in the house - especially around
Christmas - since Lisa was young, and it had become a guilty pleasure
of
hers.
She looked down at her watch and realized it was near 9 pm. She
decided she better finish up and find Michael as it was getting
late. After Michael had parked the car, she noticed a woman’s
clothier and thought she might have luck finding a sweater there.
Michael wanted to poke around some of the other shops, so they parted
ways. She did succeed in finding a nice, warm, wool sweater that
was reasonably priced, and she couldn’t wait to change out of her still
smelly sweater that she had worn to Doune.
As for Michael, he didn’t tell her where he was going, but she thought
she saw him heading toward a jeweler’s. At first, she wondered
why he would have a need to go there. Then she thought she was
being silly for wondering such a thing. She began to wonder if he
was going to surprise her with a gift – maybe a necklace or
earrings. She didn’t have pierced ears, though, so that would be
out of the question.
She silently berated herself for speculating on this. If it was a
surprise, couldn’t she just leave it at that and not even think about
it? For some reason, she felt an excited anticipation inside of
her that she
tried to quash, at least for the time-being. For the most part
she
was successful.
She began to hum more as she strolled down the aisle. The song
wasn’t exactly her favorite, but it was beginning to grow on her and it
was nice to just hum along to. She decided to pick up another
couple
of tins of shortbread before turning right and nearly bumping into
someone.
“Oh, dear, Lisa’s hoarding the shortbread,” she heard the slightly
bewildered, though familiar, voice utter.
She looked up and saw Michael looking at her basket amusedly.
“Think you’ve got enough there?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow.
“Probably not, but after purchasing that sweater I only have so much
money left,” she said facetiously.
“Oh, right, the sweater,” he said.
“Would you like to see it?” she asked, gesturing toward the white,
paper bag she was holding in her right hand.
“Yea, alright,” he said jokingly with a bit of a cockney accent.
Lisa grinned at him before setting the bag down on top of the
basket. She unrolled the top of the bag and removed the light
blue, wool sweater.
“Very nice,” Michael nodded. “Oh – that isn’t wool, is it?” he
suddenly asked.
“This is Scotland, Michael,” Lisa replied, raising an eyebrow.
“Ah, yes, how could I forget that?” he said cheekily.
Lisa giggled. “Yes, it is,” she replied.
“Oh. Better keep it away from me, then. I have an allergy
to wool,” he said as he playfully backed away from the sweater and
nearly bumped into the shelf behind him.
Lisa giggled once more. “Oh, poor baby. How do you carry on
in that knight costume, then?”
“What?” Michael asked, momentarily confused.
“That chain mail that you have to wear. Isn’t it knitted wool?”
“Oh bugger. She’s on to us,” Michael joked, his eyes widened.
Lisa looked at him curiously.
“Well, Lisa, now that our secret’s out,” he said as he looked around
conspiratorially. “I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you.”
“Oh, pity,” she replied with a mock pout on her face. ‘I drove so
many miles up here, just to be with you after five long years, and you
have to murder me.”
“Yes, I’m afraid I have no choice,” Michael said calmly. He
started at Lisa for a few minutes before his calm façade
shattered and he broke out in a wide grin. “Damn, I’m not very
good at keeping a straight face,” he giggled.
“You were joking there, weren’t you?” Lisa asked him as she began to
giggle as well.
“Yes, love, only joking,” he said softly as the giggles ceased.
He pulled her into a quick hug, and after a moment she noticed the
small bag he was holding.
“So, what have you got there?” she asked curiously once they pulled
apart.
Michael looked down at the bag for a second and then stuffed it into
his jacket pocket. “Oh, er…it’s nothing,” he said dismissively.
Lisa raised an eyebrow. “Really,” she said, not seeming to be
convinced.
A faint blush crept across Michael’s cheeks as he nodded.
Lisa looked at him curiously and then merely shrugged.
“Alright,” Michael sighed. “If you must know, I bought a pair of
earrings for my mum. She turned seventy…er…a few months ago,
actually,” he said as his blush deepened a bit. “I’ve just been
so busy with
the Pythons, writing for this film, doing the Drury Lane show and all
that, I didn’t have time to get her a proper gift.”
Lisa raised her eyebrows and nodded thoughtfully. “Well, that’s
certainly nice of you,” she said.
“Oh, it’s nothing. As her only son I feel obligated,” he
returned.
Lisa smiled at him and nodded.
“Well, it’s getting late,” he suddenly said as he looked at his
watch. “We’d best be going. Are you finished here – or do
you wish to pick up more shortbread?” he grinned.
“No, I’m fine,” she giggled.
Michael nodded and they made their way to the front of the store so
Lisa could check out. She was so busy she didn’t notice Michael
stuffing the small bag further into his jacket pocket as he waited near
the exit for her. “All ready?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, as she
headed toward him with her shopping bag.
She nodded and they made their way back out to the car park and over to
Michael’s car.
As they headed back to the hotel, Michael reached over and caressed
Lisa’s hand every so often. He realized how much he loved her,
and he hoped he had done the right thing. As for Lisa, all she
could think
of was how much she was enjoying herself being in Michael’s company,
and
how she wanted to spend every waking moment with him.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, a very sullen Eric was sitting down at
the bar, alternating between staring at his half-drunk pint and looking
multiple times at his watch. It was just after 9:30 pm. He
knew
that Mike and Lisa had gone out to dinner, but that was about four
hours
ago. What could possibly be taking them so long? Michael
had
promised him that they would have a drink at the bar with him.
Eric didn’t want to admit that he still couldn’t get Lisa out of his
mind. He realized that she only wanted to be friends, that she
was Michael’s girl, and that she was quite angry when he was watching
her change out of her costume. He knew that she wasn’t quite
pleased with him at the moment, but he didn’t care. He also knew
that Mike was one
of his best friends, and he didn’t want to piss him off any
further.
Michael had seemingly forgiven him for what had happened the previous
night,
and he was usually an agreeable person, but Eric knew better.
After
witnessing Michael blow his stack (rightfully) that night, he didn’t
want
to push him further over the edge. It was the first time Eric
realized
that Mike was capable of losing his temper. He didn’t want to do
or
say anything that would cause an irreparable rift between them.
He took a sip from his pint, looked at his watch again, and sighed
angrily.
“Oh, Hello, Eric,” Terry Jones remarked as entered the bar area.
“What??” Eric snapped at him.
Jonesy’s face contorted in confusion. “I just said ‘Hello.’
What’s wrong with you?” he asked incredulously.
Eric sighed again. “Sorry, Jonesy. I’m a bit tense at the
moment.”
“I can see that,” Jonesy said dryly as he raised an eyebrow.
“Have you seen Mike at all?” Eric blurted out.
“No, I haven’t. Why?” he asked curiously.
“Oh…I suppose it’s silly,” Eric said dismissively. “I was just
supposed to meet him for a drink about now.”
Jonesy looked at him thoughtfully and then shrugged. “Last I
heard he and that girl of his were going to dinner.”
Eric looked back up at Jonesy with a piercing stare. “I know,” he
said sharply.
Jonesy ignored Eric’s obvious displeasure with the fact. “I think
they were going to the Red Lion. Mark will be quite pleased,” he
smirked.
“Mmm,” Eric intoned as he took another drink.
“Well, see you in the morning, Eric,” Jonesy started as he decided
to head back upstairs. “If I were you I wouldn’t expect Mike to
show up anytime soon. I reckon they’re spending a bit of time
romancing,” he grinned widely, raising his eyebrows.
“Shut up!!” Eric yelled at Jonesy’s retreating form. He sighed
miserably as he heard Jonesy retreating upstairs and laughing heartily.
At last, Eric finished up his pint and paid the bartender. He
refused another drink, and decided he’d sit and read for a bit.
After about half an hour, he made his way back upstairs.
“Oh, Hello, Eric,” Michael said, giving Eric a curious look as he
opened his door.
“Alright, spill it, Mike,” Eric spat out as he folded his arms over his
chest. “What’s your excuse??”
Michael looked at Eric and furrowed his brow in confusion. “What? What
are you talking about?”
“Oh, what, do you have amnesia now?” Eric said dryly.
“I don’t understand.”
Eric looked at him incredulously.
“Oh, shit,” Michael said dreadfully, shutting his eyes. “Were we
supposed to –“
“Meet down at the bar for a little drinkie-poo? Yeah, that’s the beat
of it,” Eric interrupted in a biting fashion.
“Oh, Christ, Eric, I’m sorry,” Michael said regretfully. “We
went to dinner and then went shopping afterwards. I lost track of
the time and I reckoned you wouldn’t be up for a drink so late.”
“Ha, right, shopping, that’s good,” Eric scoffed.
Michael furrowed his brow in confusion.
“Don’t ask me to do the ‘Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink’ routine, Mike, because
I’m just not up to it,” he said, a bit of an angry edge in his quiet
tone.
Mike’s eyes narrowed. “Look, Eric, I don’t know what you’re
insinuating, but I don’t want to discuss this any further. We
went shopping, and that was it – just shopping,” Michael spat out, a
huge emphasis on the last two words.
Eric continued to look at him with his arms folded over his chest,
as if he was waiting for a more suitable explanation.
“Here, you want proof?” Michael suddenly asked. He turned back
inside, headed over to one of the beds and grabbed Lisa’s bag from the
supermarket. “There you are. Look inside and see for
yourself,”
he spat out as he thrust the bag angrily at Eric.
Eric jumped a bit, not expecting Mike to react like this, and he
reached inside the bag. He looked at the boxes and tins of
shortbread, and noticed the receipt. Once he realized that the
date and time printed on it checked out, he blushed madly. He
looked up at Michael who had his arms folded across his chest and was
glaring at Eric. “Oh. I….I….uh,” he sputtered.
Michael raised his eyebrows expectantly at Eric.
“I’m…sorry, Mike,” he quickly muttered as he looked down at his feet.
“What was that?”
Eric slowly looked back up at Michael, still blushing madly. “I’m sorry
I was so suspicious. I saw Jonesy down there before and he made
some…remark that set me off,” Eric elaborated, sounding exhausted.
“Oh, why doesn’t that stupid git mind his own business?” Michael said
facetiously as he shook his head.
Eric cracked a quick smile and started to giggle once he caught sight
of the slight grin that formed on Michael’s face. “Is that any way to
talk about your best friend, Mike?” he chided in between giggles.
“The hell it is. We may be best friends, but he’s certainly
fallen out of favor with me because of the constant whining, arguing
and brow-beating we’ve been treated to,” Michael said cheekily.
Eric stopped laughing and sighed as he calmed down. “I’m serious,
Mike. I’m sorry for being so suspicious. I was just a bit
disappointed that we couldn’t meet for a drink and chat.”
“That’s alright, Eric. I’m sorry I forgot about it. I can’t
imagine that Terry is any good company at the moment.”
Eric shook his head and grinned.
“Michael? What’s going on?” Lisa’s voice suddenly sounded from the
bathroom as she emerged from the shower. Eric’s eyes widened a bit as
he
heard her voice.
Michael didn’t take much notice as he turned toward the bathroom. “It’s
just Eric, love. I forgot that we were supposed to meet him for a
drink. But it’s alright, everything is fine,” he called back to
her.
He turned back to Eric and saw him staring with a glazed look in his
eyes.
“Well, I suppose we should be turning in. It’s getting quite
late,”
Michael said to him as he pointed to his watch.
Eric didn’t answer him, but was still mired in his glazed stare.
“Er…Eric?’ Michael asked curiously as he furrowed his brow in confusion.
Eric finally broke his stare as he heard Mike’s voice and looked at
him. “Hmm? Oh…sorry. Right, I’d better turn in as well. I
reckon Jonesy and Gilliam are going to drag us out there early
tomorrow,” he said dryly.
Michael nodded grimly. “’Night, Eric,” he said just before he
shut the door.
“Goodnight, Mike,” Eric returned after the door was shut. He
looked at it, a bit confused, and then started down the hall toward his
room.
Michael anxiously glanced down at Lisa's sleeping form. It was
12:30 am, and he had suddenly been struck with an idea. He was
well aware that she was going to be heading back to London in the
morning, and he wanted to have one last little fling with her.
Again, he had felt very bad about what had taken place the previous
night, where the fight
between he and Eric resulted in Eric dragging her away from him.
The
idea of Lisa being placed in the middle of this ridiculous altercation
made
him feel sick. He wanted to go out and do something fun with her,
something that only the two of them could do privately and remain out
of
site from the other Pythons.
“Lisa,” he whispered.
When she did not respond, he nudged her. “Lisa?” he repeated, this
time a bit louder.
Finally she stirred. “Mmm?” she intoned sleepily.
Her eyes focused and she caught sight of Michael standing over her,
dressed in his pajamas and a pair of shoes. He was smiling
knowingly at her.
“Michael? What’s going on? What time is it?” she asked curiously.
“Half past midnight,” he grinned.
Lisa raised an eyebrow.
“Come on,” he said. “I was thinking we could take a nice drive
through the countryside.”
She furrowed her brow at first, but then smiled slightly. “Oh,
that sounds lovely,” she replied, her smile widening. “But can
you give me a few moments to change?”
“Oh, no, there’s no need for that,” he insisted as he shook his
head. “I’m going like this, so it’s no problem.”
She gave him an odd look. “In your pajamas? May I ask why?”
“Don’t worry, love. You’ll see when we get there,” he winked.
Lisa rolled her eyes and grinned as she stepped into her shoes.
She slipped her coat on, and Michael grabbed his car keys and jacket
before they made their way out of the room.
'Ah, this is perfect,' Michael thought to himself as they quietly made
their way down the stairs. The man at the front desk had stepped
away, and no one was around. Finally he and Lisa could be alone
together without anyone barging in on them.
They were about to head out the door when a loud thump caught their
attention. Michael turned in the direction of the noise, but
didn’t see anything. Whatever – or whoever – caused this sound
was hidden away. A feeling of dread welled up inside Michael as
he thought someone could have been watching them. “Hello?” he called
out nervously.
His call was answered when a small, black cat leapt off the sofa near
the fireplace and made its way behind the front desk. Michael
shut his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as he remembered that it
was one of the owner’s two cats.
Lisa put her hand to her heart and caught her breath. “She really
scared me for a minute there,” she exclaimed breathlessly.
Michael nodded as his eyes followed the cat through the door behind the
front desk. He turned back to Lisa and gave her a little smile.
“Come on, love,” he said as he took her hand and pushed the door open
with his free hand.
As they stepped outside, Lisa was surprised at how mild it
seemed. It was never really that warm in this part of Scotland,
but the rain and overcast skies that plagued them seemed to have moved
on and it actually seemed to be a bit warmer than it had been earlier.
“Please, Michael, tell me where we’re going?” she smiled at him before
they entered the car.
“Don’t worry, you’ll see when we get there,” he grinned impishly.
Lisa rolled her eyes. “Alright, but it had better be good,” she
said wryly as they got inside.
Michael chuckled slightly before answering. “No, I think you’ll find
it’s quite good,” he said.
Lisa looked at him and smiled as Michael put the car into gear and
they headed off.
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