An Old Friend: Version B Part 12

Lisa sat in the grass a few feet behind the cameras and watched the Pythons film the French Taunting scene.  It didn’t go completely without a hitch, as a fairly drunken Graham flubbed his lines a bit and caused Terry Jones to nearly have a tantrum.  Lisa watched them amusedly as Jonesy’s face became redder and redder the more he bawled Graham out.  She could see Michael standing right next to Graham, rolling his eyes.  She could tell by the weary look on his face that he wanted nothing more than to be done with this.  She giggled sympathetically.

At times she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, as Graham fired back at Jonesy, drawling with amusing insults resulting from his intoxication.  Jonesy would get briefly angry and stomp his feet like a child, which would cause John to finally let loose on him, bitching at him to fall back into line so they could get the show on the road.  Eric would then join in and tell John in as little words as possible to shut up.  It was turning into quite a show, and Lisa could just picture Michael standing there with a pained look on his face, muttering “I’m not here!”

Finally, Michael lost his cool and demanded that they all shut up.  Then, being the nice Python, he explained that they weren’t getting anything done by standing there arguing.  The weather was miserable, none of them were too happy about having to re-film when it was supposed to be a day off, and it would be best if they’d just knock it off and get on with it.  The other Pythons all seemed quite surprised at Mike’s sudden forthrightness, as he was usually the one who didn’t want to say much so that everyone would remain friends in the end.  Lisa had been momentarily surprised herself, but was glad he spoke up and said something, as she was feeling a bit uncomfortable out there and was sure Michael (as well as the others) wanted to get back to the warmth of the hotel. 

For a moment the stunned Pythons said nothing and stood frozen in place.  Finally, Jonesy mumbled something vaguely resembling an apology to Graham, who shrugged as he wasn’t expecting such a gesture.  Eric chimed in that Mike was right and a bit of sheepish giggling ensued, with remarks about how silly they were all acting.  Lisa smiled happily, glad that they had resolved this bickering and confident that they would finish the scene relatively soon.


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“Now, this is your last chance! I’ve been more than reasonable!” Graham shouted up to the battlements of the castle. 

“And, CUT!!” Jonesy yelled, gesturing to the cameraman to stop rolling.  With that, they had just finished the last part that they had to re-film. “That’s it, we’re finished!” he exclaimed excitedly.  The other Pythons cheered happily at the prospect of finally wrapping up for the day.  It was a good thing, too, because it was nearly 5 pm. 

Lisa picked herself up off the ground and hurriedly made her way up to them. “All finished? I have to say you all did a wonderful job,” she smiled.

“Eh, not really,” Jonesy sniffed after he removed his helmet.

 “Oh, of course you’d say that, Mister Perfectionist,” John scoffed.

“Coming from a git who spent the whole time bitching about the weather being less-than-perfect, that’s not saying very much,” Jonesy shot back.

“Boys! Boys! Will you please stop that? You got through the rest of the scene without jumping down each other’s throats, and now you’re right back to it!” Lisa jumped in, smiling wryly.

“Hey, I’m the official mediator of this group,” Michael said in a disappointed tone, giving her a mock hurt look.

 “Oops, sorry!” Lisa said, giggling.  “I reckon I’ve overstepped my bounds there, Michael?”

Michael looked at her for a moment before his eyes gleamed mischievously.  “Yes, you have, Lisa.  I’m afraid you haven’t quite been behaving yourself, my dear,” he grinned.

 She looked at him seriously. “Forty lashes with a wet noodle, then?” she said quietly.

Michael’s grin grew wider and he began to laugh.  His eyes glanced quickly at the two Pythons who were still in the immediate vicinity and he blushed faintly.  “Yes, I think that shall be a suitable punishment,” he winked. 

 “Oh, dear, I don’t want to know where this is heading,” John said, his voice weary.  He gestured to Jonesy to start heading back toward the vans.

 “Oh, poor John,” Michael said loudly as John and Jonesy began to walk away.  “So, when is Connie planning to visit, John?” he said in an almost taunting manner.

 “Shut up, Palin,” John retorted, his back to Michael and walking quickly away.

 Michael giggled as he watched John’s retreating form grow smaller and smaller. “Oh, what an amusing chap,” he sighed.  Lisa giggled.  He looked down at her and smiled.  “Well, I suppose we’d best be getting back.  I want to shower and there’s no telling how much hot water will be left,” he said grimly.

“A shower doesn’t sound like a bad idea.  After being out here in the dirt and mud, it makes one feel a bit grimy,” she said, wrinkling her nose slightly.

 Michael smiled and patted her on the back. “Shall we be off, then?”

Lisa nodded and then felt her heart almost stop when the sound of a twig snapping pierced the air.

 “Well, well, look at the lovebirds here.”

Lisa and Michael whirled around, only to find Eric standing there, smirking at them.  He was carrying his helmet and in place of his Sir Robin mustache was an area of darker pink skin under his nose, almost resembling a burn.

 “Eric?” Michael said curiously.  “You’re still here? I thought you had already gone off.”

“No,” Eric replied quickly.  “I…”

Michael caught sight of Eric’s pinker-than-usual upper lip and furrowed his brow in confusion. “What the hell happened to you there?”

Eric blushed madly.  “Oh…I didn’t want to wait for Hazel to remove the mustache, so I thought I’d try it myself.  I have to admit it does feel like a bad sunburn or windburn,” he said sheepishly.  He reached up to touch it and quickly pulled his finger away and winced.

“Ouch,” Michael returned, narrowing his eyes.  He looked at Eric again. “In a hurry, are you?”

“Uh….no?” Eric said unconvincingly.

Michael looked at him suspiciously before continuing. “Well, we’ve got to be heading back now, before John uses up all the warm water,” he said wryly.

“Good idea,” Eric nodded.  “See you later, Mike.”


“See you later, Eric,” Michael answered.  As he headed off with Lisa in the direction of his car, he took one last suspicious look back at Eric and then shrugged his shoulders.

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“I do have to say that you all did a very good job,” Lisa reiterated to Michael once they settled back into his hotel room.

“Well, we accomplished what we set out to do,” Michael said.

“Oh, come on.  You don’t give yourselves enough credit,” Lisa smiled, her eyes sparkling.

Michael looked into her eyes and smiled.  “No, we don’t have to, because we’ve each got beautiful wives, girlfriends – or boyfriends, in Graham’s case – to do it for us,” he explained cheekily.

Lisa smirked at him.  “You know, we’re not always going to be able to do that.  You’re going to have to accept some criticism down the line.”

“Damn,” Michael replied with a look of mock disappointment.

Lisa shook her head and giggled.

“But, at the moment, it’s something we can all use to our benefit,” he added as he wrapped his arm around her waist and squeezed her.

“All of you? Even John?” she smiled.

“Oh, yes.  I was just joking about Connie before.  Things aren’t the greatest between them, but their relationship is still hanging on.  So, we’re all … oh, except Eric,” he trailed off.

Lisa’s brow knitted in confusion.  “What about Eric?”

“He and his wife Lyn divorced some two months back.  He’s still quite a ladies man, though, as I’ve said before, so I reckon I don’t have to explain any further,” he grinned.

Lisa giggled.  Deep down she felt a bit ashamed of picking on Eric, as she did find him to be a nice man and she didn’t know the events surrounding his divorce.  On the other hand, she was still quite sore over his peeping tom act while she was changing out of her costume.

“Well, I suppose we’d better get the bath running before it gets any later, eh?” he suddenly broke in.

Lisa’s eyes widened in realization.  “Oh, right.  Well, I won’t keep you,” she started, a bit flustered.  She gestured toward the chest of drawers, expecting Michael to gather up a clean change of clothes.

“You go first, love,” he said, shaking his head.

She raised her eyebrows thoughtfully.  “Oh, I just thought that you’d like to go first because it takes me a greater amount of time,” she said sheepishly, fingering her long hair.

“No, no, that’s quite alright,” he insisted.  “I have to think through some plans, so go ahead.”

Lisa shrugged.  “Oh.  Well, thank you, Michael.”  With that she headed off to the bathroom.

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A bare-chested Michael stood facing the mirror in the bathroom, wearing nothing but his jeans.  Lisa, fully dressed in her old sweater and jeans, stood next to him, her arm around his waist. “Damn, my hair looks like crap,” he snorted as he surveyed his damp locks and pushed them out of his face.  “I don’t know why I let Maggie cut it the other day.  Lucky Idle, making his escape…”

“Maybe it’ll look better once you dry it, Michael,” Lisa said dryly, smirking at him.

Michael looked at her for a moment and then back up at the mirror. “Good idea,” he answered.  “Don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”

Lisa looked up at him and giggled.  He dug his comb out of a small travel bag and readied the hairdryer. “Er…would you mind waiting outside, Lisa? A Palin tackling his hair is not a pretty sight,” he said wryly, raising his eyebrows.

Lisa feigned astonishment.  “What do you mean? You were blessed with gorgeous hair! Even at that length it can’t possibly be that hard to style.  You should be happy; there are men younger than you who are nearly half-bald!” she giggled.

Michael gave her a serious look, and held the hairdryer out in front of him as if it was a weapon. “Now, Lisa,” he said as he flipped the dryer on and shot a rush of warm air in her face.

Lisa jerked her head back and smoothed her hair back down.  “Alright, alright!  You don’t play fair, Michael!” she retorted, pointing a finger at him accusingly before taking a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the bathroom. 

Michael grinned impishly, causing her to stick her tongue out at him.  In retaliation he raised an eyebrow at her before he flicked his hair out of his eyes once again and finally headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.  At once she heard the hairdryer turn back on.

Lisa’s pouty expression melted and she dissolved into laughter as she fell back on the bed.  Michael was such a funny guy and she loved joking around with him.  It was one key element of their relationship.  Even when she had first met him at Oxford, they would tease each other in a light-hearted way.  It helped ease any nervousness or tension they had, especially since they both had some degree of shyness in their personalities.  Now they mostly teased each other out of affection.

Lisa stopped laughing abruptly as she suddenly heard the hairdryer switch off. “I hear you in there,” Michael said in an accusing tone, his voice muffled through the door.

“Boy, nothing gets past you, does it, Michael?” she called out, grinning widely.

“I warned you about that,” he returned.

Lisa grinned and shook her head. “Oh, just finish attending to that hair of yours, or we’re not going out tonight,” she threatened.

“Yes, mum,” Michael replied jokingly in a sing-song manner.

With that, she heard the dryer switch back on.  Lisa giggled softly.  She and Michael had planned to go out to dinner.  After a long day of filming and a rather unappetizing fare from the bottom of the lunch pail, they were both famished and wanted to get something to eat.  Lisa didn’t know where they were going to go, but she didn’t think she wanted to go back to the French restaurant they went to the night before.  Michael said he had a place in mind, but he had yet to tell her about it.  Afterwards, they were planning on doing a bit of shopping.  Lisa hadn’t brought any clean clothes with her, apart from some clean underwear, and she wanted to see if she could buy a new sweater. 

She sniffed the sleeve of her sweater and wrinkled her nose.  It was still rank with the scent of mud, dirt and even barnyard animals.  She hoped she could find another sweater that would not be very pricey.  As for Michael, he said he was looking for something in particular, and wanted to poke around a few of the shops.  Lisa was ever suspicious as he didn’t mention what this thing was.

She looked up as she heard the doorknob turn, and out came a handsome-as-usual Michael, well-groomed and wearing jeans, a white button-down shirt and a beige, patterned pullover sweater. 

“See? The hair looks fine,” she smiled.

Michael stopped and looked at her, before he ran two fingers through his hair and tossed it back with an air of smugness. “Yes, now that you mention it, I don’t think it’s quite bad at all,” he said in a tone that matched the look on his face.

Lisa giggled amusedly and made her way up to him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. “I hate to say it, but I told you so,” she said.

Michael smiled.  “Well, one thing that I know is certain: you are a beautiful girl,” he said softly as he smoothed a bit of hair behind her ear.

With that, he edged closer to her and they began to kiss tenderly.  Even though they had already shared more than a handful of kisses, Lisa was still pleasantly surprised at what a good kisser Michael was.

Suddenly, she opened her eyes and caught sight of her watch, which informed her that it was 6:30 pm.  She uttered a slightly surprised noise, and upon hearing that Michael opened his eyes as well and they parted lips. “So, about those dinner plans…” she began sheepishly.

Michael looked at her, a bit confused at first until it dawned on him that it was getting late and both of them were eager to get some food inside of them. “Oh…yes.  Well, I had a chat with Mark and he told me about this lovely little place called the Red Lion.  He says that it’s run by a very kind, hospitable Scottish couple and the food is quite good.  Even better, it’s within walking distance of those shops we were planning to visit.  What do you say, love?”

Lisa nodded thoughtfully.  “That sounds good to me,” she finally replied.  “So, Mark has given it his personal approval then?”

“Oh, yes.  He and Suko were just there on Thursday night and he was raving about it yesterday morning. Poor bloke wouldn't shut up, actually,” Michael muttered. “Eric had to administer a blow to the head.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow and started giggling.

Michael grinned slightly and blushed.  “Er, no, forget that…but Mark said that it’s a very nice place, and very cozy.”

Lisa smiled broadly.

“I thought you would like that,” Michael smiled back.

Lisa giggled again and went to fetch her coat as Michael removed his jacket from the back of the chair and slipped it on.  He grabbed his wallet and his keys from the dresser and they made their way to the door.

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Lisa stood in back of Michael as he locked the door to his room.  They were about to make their way down the hall when Lisa froze. From a distance she could see Eric heading down the hall towards them.  “Oh, God,” she muttered under her breath, sounding purely frightened.

After Michael turned back around, she moved with him to make sure her body was completely hidden by his.  Michael turned his head back toward her, nearly bumping into her and knocking her off balance.  He furrowed his brow in confusion. “Lisa? What --”

“Hide me, Michael,” she said fearfully.

“Hide you? What for?” he asked curiously.

His question was answered when he turned back around to face forward and noticed that Eric was only about 15 feet away and was walking purposefully – at least it seemed – toward them. “Oh,” he said quietly. He turned back to Lisa and gave her a look of reassurance. “You don't have to do this, you know. I realize how you feel towards him after what happened earlier, but I think he's harmless now.”

She looked up at him, fear still in her eyes.

“It's alright, Lisa. Even if he's up to something, I'll handle it. Don't you worry.” He took hold of her hand and squeezed it before giving her a little smile of confidence.

She smiled back as her fears began to ebb away just a bit. “Alright. I'm sorry for acting like such a fool,” she replied.

Michael nodded and winked before turning back to face Eric. “Well, Lisa, I suppose we should be off,” he said a bit louder.

“Going somewhere, are you?” Eric asked genially.

“That's right,” Michael nodded. “We're off for a bite to eat at the Red Lion, you know, that restaurant that Mark wouldn't shut his gob about the other day.”

Eric giggled sightly. “He was getting rather annoying, wasn't he?”

“I don't think 'annoying' is a strong enough word,” Michael giggled. “More like 'maddening' or 'infuriating.'”

Eric giggled along with Mike for a few seconds and then stopped abuptly. “What a dinner companion?” he asked Michael quickly.

Michael looked at him curiously and then took hold of Lisa's hand. “Eric, I already have a dinner companion,” he said quietly as he pulled her closer to him.

Eric stared at him for a moment before replying. “Oh, no, no, I knew that,” he giggled sheepishly. “I meant 'one more dinner companion.'”

Michael groaned inwardly and looked down at his right hand, still clutching Lisa's. Eric studied his every expression intently. “Eric, as much as I'd love for you to join us ... we'd like to just spend one evening alone,” he said carefully, trying not to hurt Eric's feelings.

Eric's face fell. “Oh. I just thought I would ask, since I don't have anything else to do. And I don't feel like having dinner with our two dictators – er, directors,” he replied, his lips twitching into a faint smile.

Michael looked at him a bit sadly. “Sorry,” he said resignedly. “We'll have a drink at the bar later, eh?” He smiled as he patted Eric's arm.

Eric's smile grew. “Alright. That sounds good. Lisa?” he said hopefully.

Lisa finally broke her deer-in-headlights stare and shook her head. “Oh ... actually I'm not much of a drinker ...” she trailed off.

“We'll both have a drink with you, Eric,” Michael cut in, aiming to end the awkward conversation so he and Lisa could leave before it got any later.

“Great! I'll see you both later, then?” he called after them as they began to make their way down the hall.

“Yeah, that's right,” Michael replied, not bothering to look back as he and Lisa headed toward the stairs.

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Lisa wrapped her coat more tightly against her as a chilly north wind swept past and burned her eyes and cheeks. Michael put his arm around her as they made their way toward his car. “Well, that was an awkward conversation, I must say,” she finally said after they were seated inside the car.

Michael nodded grimly. “Yeah, I'll reckon time must have been going a lot slower for you at that time, eh?”

“It sure did,” Lisa sighed. She looked back up at him. “Did you mean what you said – about the two of us meeting him for drinks later?” She blushed at the stupid question.

Michael smiled and shook his head. “No, I just said that to get him out of our hair. I'm not too keen on lying to Eric, but I knew you were uncomfortable and I reckoned it was the best way to appease him – anything to stop him from following us to the restaurant.”

Lisa nodded and looked up at Michael curiously as a sly grin spread across his face.

“Besides, I have better things in mind for later,” he said mischievously. He turned the ignition, put the car into gear and they headed off to the restaurant.




 


 



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