The winter was hard. The pavement was icy, the water freezing as it fell in little snow flakes and the bizarre moment when she actually realised she didn’t have a hope in hell of survival as she rubbed her hands together over a fiery dustbin with a crowd of other waifs and strays.

Her escape had been subliminal, and all she had had to do was buy a ticket to New York. The bus journey had been one of the hardest of her life. Every time a siren blared behind or in front she expected a crowd of people to be waiting to arrest her and take her away, but nothing happened, and, eight days after the event, she found herself clambering off the bus and almost falling into the deluge of New Yorkers, her hair matted, her skin sweaty and her general appearance something to be desired. But she had made it, to New York at least, and in a country of millions of people, she was sure she was relatively home free.

But starting afresh had been harder than she had expected. She had left school early because of her pregnancy, had no official qualifications, and had had very little experience in the workplace. She had no forwarding address, no bank account and no way of proving her identity other than her passport, and even that was a risk.

Within the first two weeks she had been in New York she had checked herself into a small bedsit and hunted for a job, but gradually her funds had dwindled and eventually, after six weeks of so called freedom, with a five dollar bill left in her pocket, she had headed for downtown and stood, cold and desperate, with the other tramps.

Her feet ached, her hands were shaking with the cold and her teeth chattered but she still felt warm on the inside. Somehow not being oppressed, beaten and bullied made the situation so much better and she even managed to smile a little as a man to her left offered her a tankard of something steamy.

“Here you go girl, get that in you. It’ll keep away the cold.”

She wrapped her hands around the mug and smiled gratefully. The drink tasted sweet and hot and she felt it slide down her insides as he watched, and smiled.

“How long have you been on the streets?” he asked.

Jess looked into her cup. “Not long. This was my last resort. I ran out of money very quickly.”

The man nodded and handed her a bowl. “I bet you haven’t eaten have you?” he asked.

She shook her head dumbly as he began to spoon something that looked like stew into the bowl.

“I had a bit of luck today.” He said and winked. “They always said horses was my downfall, but they were wrong.”

Jess nodded as he laughed to himself.

“No, it wasn’t horses that got me here. It was dogs!” three other men around the fire laughed heartily and Jess couldn’t help smiling herself as he handed her a spoon and motioned for her to eat.

The other men came over then and they all sat down in a small circle around the fire. A woman joined them and they sat comfortably together, and as the evening progressed Jess learned each of their stories.

The man who had given her the drink and the stew was called Jeffrey Scotland and was, ironically, from England. He had had a passion for gambling that had wrecked his marriage, career and eventually his finances, and for about four years he’d been living in downtown New York.

The woman, called Carol Jenkins, had been married to a man who refused to let her go shopping and give her money her earned. She’d stolen things before and had been charged with it, but she fell in love with this coat and been caught trying to steal it, and had been thrown in jail. When she had got out her husband had moved, left no forwarding address, cancelled the lease on the flat they shared and sold all of her possessions. She had no cards, no clothes, no passport, nothing. The streets had been the only place for her to go.

Two of the men, Greg Kalinsky and Ralph James, were business partners who’d gotten into serious debt and had fled fearing an attack by a couple of dodgy loan sharks Greg, the elder of the two, had gotten involved with.

And finally, Diptesh Raakeeh, the quietest of the five, began his tale. He had been bought by an American and brought over from India to work. After four years of violence, abuse and slavery he had snapped. He didn’t describe exactly what had happened but he said he had to leave quickly and disappear, but because he had no citizenship in America there was nowhere else for him to go.

When it was Jess’s turn they all looked expectantly at her. She felt awkward. These were the first people she had spoken to in a long time, and these were going to be the first people she would tell that she had killed her husband. What would they think of her? Would they judge her? Would they mock her?

She looked at their faces and knew the answer. They wouldn’t judge. They had helped her and had offered her friendship and food and warmth that she had rarely felt in the last few years. She opened her mouth to speak and found suddenly that she was crying and a painful release was coursing through her veins.

When she managed to choke out what had happened the group looked from one to the other and then one by one hugged her as she cried out all of the hurt that had built up inside of her all through the years.

Jeffrey handed her a slightly dirty handkerchief and stroked her hand. “You’ve been very brave.” He said as she wiped her face. Carol squeezed her shoulder as she stood up.

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m beat. I’m going to bed.” She leant over Jess. “Do you wanna come with me tonight?”

Jess looked around and offered a watery apologetic smile. “I’d love to, thank you so much.”

She hugged each of the other guys. “I just want to thank you all for making me feel so welcome.”

They shrugged and Jeff stood up as Jess did. “We’re like a family here now. And you’re very welcome anytime.”

She smiled and hugged him again.

As they said their goodnights and the men began chatting gently to each other, Carol led Jess to a small decline that ran against a wall where a shelter of cardboard, paper and scrap metal was built. She motioned for Jess to follow her in and as Jess crawled on her hands and knees she felt suddenly warm and safe. There was enough space in the small hut for two people to sleep side by side and as Carol threw a battered blanket over herself she offered Jess a rumpled sleeping bag.

“We usually take it in turns to sleep in here.” She offered gently. “Tomorrow night is Greg and Jeff’s turn.”

Jess nodded. “Thank you very much Carol.” She said as she felt her body sag against the soft floor.

That night Jess dreamt only of a field with flowers and an open sky, and a warmth flowed through her veins that she had never felt before.

**************************************************************************************************************

A year passed and Jess was now a fully-fledged Groundling, as the group liked to refer to themselves. She had learnt the ropes of a pickpocket and beggar very quickly, and had also accompanied Jeff to the betting shop, Carol to a casino and had crossed her fingers and toes for Greg and Martyn when they had bought a lotto ticket.

She was happy for the first time in years with these people, and she grinned as, again, Jeff poured a hot drink for them both over the fire.

He was anxious and fiddling with a button on his jacket. She observed him as she stood up and then disappeared, and then returned with a small grey packet in one hand.

He handed it to her silently with a small smile.

Jess put down her cup and looked at him questioningly. She opened the packet and looked inside.

What she saw made her hair stand on end.

“Where did you get this?” she whispered shocked.

“I was picking pockets in the square and I followed this woman, and in her pocket, was that.” He said and pointed to the packet.

“Have you any idea how much this may be worth?” she asked, careful not to raise her voice.

His face was blank. “I wasn’t thinking. I thought it was some money and then when I got away I looked inside and there it was.”

Jess looked it over, trying not to hold it up to the Winter light. It was a bracelet encrusted with some of the most beautiful jewels she had ever seen. There was at least three different ones there; ruby, emerald and diamond. There was a black one she had never seen before a strange purple one, and she quickly put it back into the packet.

“Jess I want you to have it.”

She looked back at him and frowned. “Don’t be silly Jeff. This was your find. I don’t have a claim to it.”

He shrugged. “I don’t want it. It’s a ladies’ bracelet. It would be no use to me.”

She grimaced. “Poor excuse. You could sell it and keep the money. Please,” she said handing him the packet. “I don’t want it.”

He looked slightly hurt, until she touched his hand and smiled.

Later that evening whilst sharing the hut with Carol again, she turned to Carol and sighed.

“Jeff is so stupid sometimes.”

Carol cocked an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“He found something the other day that I think he should sell, but he keeps trying to give it to me.”

Carol laughed gently. “Jessica, this may come as a surprise to you but Jeff really likes you.”

Jess nodded. “I really like him too.”

Carol shook her head. “I don’t think you quite understand. Jeff likes you a lot, and as more than a friend.”

Jess felt her heart flip. “What?”

Carol lay on her back and sighed. “It’s obvious. He looks out for you all the time, shows you the best places to turf, gives you the first lot of food, offers you cups of tea and drink all the time, and then this. He tells you things none of us have ever known about him. We never knew he was a dancer before. And how did we find this out? When Greg stole that record player from the stall in the market and he offered you a dance.”

Jess remembered the evening well. The record player had only had one record with it and that was a selection of Cole Porter’s songs. Jeff had asked her to dance to ‘Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye’ and, without any thought of his motives, she had done so, and he was a good dancer. She hadn’t been held in such a close embrace without feeling fear for a long time, and it felt good to sway in his arms.

Lying the in hut now though she wondered what had been going through Jeff’s mind at the time.

Carol watched her friend. “You don’t like him like that though do you?”

Jess shook her head.

“It’ll be ok. Something will turn up and this will be washed away.” Carol said and squeezed her hand. “Meanwhile, we better get some sleep!”

Jess nodded, and as Carol turned over and curled up, Jess lay with her eyes open, pondering her next move.

*************************************************************************************************************

Jeff sat back on the stool and leant against the counter, taking a nervous sip from the decanter. The screens around him flashed with results and he felt the familiar anxious excitement well up inside. His palms were sweating, his heart pounding and his throat was dry.

The bookies was crowded with the Saturday racers and Jeff thought he recognised a few of the regular betters who lived on the other side of the bridge to the Groundlings.

He looked at the ticket in his hand and touched his right pocket protectively. He had taken Jess’s advice and taken the bracelet to the jewellers. It had come up trumps, and Jeff had left over three thousand dollars heavier. He patted his pocket with a smile and flicked his eyes back to his ticket. Soon he would be another hundred up in this dog came in.

The anticipation in the betting shop was heavy as they began to race and Jeff watched the screen with baited breath. His heart was beating wildly and he shifted tensely on his stool, his eyes darting around the room as the punters began to call out, “go on!”, “faster!” and “come on!”

And suddenly it was over, the crowds watched in anticipation at the screen as the results were read. Jeff glanced from his ticket to the screen and watched as others did the same. The electricity in the room was live and he felt the air crackle with static.

Three men hurried to the counter waving tickets as others screwed theirs up and walked away with heavy frowns and grumbling.

Jeff folded his up and placed it in the box of dud tickets on the counter with a rue smile at the counter clerk.

There was a tug at his coat and he turned to find a stern Jess looking up at him. If only she knew how much he really liked her, he thought. He would’ve liked to have taken her in his arms and kissed her, but he knew that she didn’t feel the same way. There was nothing but friendship between them for her, and although it killed him to pretend not to feel anything, he would rather have friendship than not have her at all.

“What are you doing here?” she asked strictly.

He gave her a small smile. “I’m spending my earnings.” He said and tapped his pocket. “I sold the bracelet and got a good pay off for it too!”

She looked serious. “Well surely the best thing to do with it is to save it and put it away. Take it to a bank and invest?”

Jeff shrugged. “I could make so much more money doing this though.”

Jess rolled her eyes. “Jeff, you could lose it all as well!”

“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do.” He said gruffly and turned away towards the clerk.

“Jeff I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m trying to help you.”

He turned to her. “Ok then, tell me which horse to bet this on?” he said waving five hundred dollars in her face.

Jess blanched. “That’s not what I meant.”

He grinned and she knew it was hopeless. Gambling to Jeff was a disease. It was eating him away and everything he ever earned was spent in this one betting shop. This had been the last straw for Jess, after hearing from Greg that he had gone to town to pawn the bracelet. She had known it would be worth a lot and she wasn’t about to let Jeff blow it all on a horse.

“Come on Jessica, pick me a horse.”

“I’m not lucky.” She said and folded her arms.

The clerk glanced up. “Lucky?” he said as Jeff fingered the five hundred bills.

“She says she’s not lucky.” Jeff said to him and rolled his eyes.

The clerk nodded. “I thought you said Lucky, twenty to one odds in the next race.”

Jeff grinned. “I’ll take it.” He said and passed the money under the screen towards the bemused clerk.

Jess waved her hands in the air. “Stop!” she said. “I didn’t mean the horse, Jeff, you’re being a fool!”

Jeff took the ticket and headed back towards his stool. “What you don’t seem to understand Jess is that I don’t actually want the money.”

She blinked.

“I’ve never wanted money, and people seem to think that I need it. And really I don’t.”

“But surely you should take care of at least a little. You could get off the streets with money.”

Jeff laughed, but it wasn’t a sarcastic laugh, and he touched her arm. “Money isn’t everything. Where would three thousand have got me? As far as a bedsit for a few months, and then what? Money won’t buy me a job, or friends, or love, will it?”

He looked meaningfully into her eyes and she looked away.

“Now lets just sit back and enjoy the race shall we?” he said and turned from her to the television screen.

There was so much she wanted to explain to Jeff, about her feelings and about how she loved him as a friend, but she had a feeling he already knew what she wanted to say. She touched his shoulder with a hand and he glanced behind him with a smile and gave her his.

The bookies was filling up again and Jess felt the level of electricity build within herself. She could feel Jeff’s shoulders tense beneath her hand. She stared intently at the screen but didn’t really understand what was going on. As the race progressed Jeff began to move more and suddenly he was out of his seat and shouting at the screen, along with half the population in the bookies. She let her hand slip from his shoulder as he began stamping his foot and suddenly the bookies erupted with shouts and calls and Jeff was hugging her tightly to him. He wrapped his arms around her and she didn’t understand what had happened.

And then his mouth was on hers and she felt him kiss her with a passion he usually restrained and when he pulled away she was open mouthed and a little shocked.

“I’m sorry.” He choked and stood back from her. “I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t find the words to speak.

“But Jess, you just won us ten thousand dollars!”

She felt her insides melt and suddenly Jeff’s euphoria sank into her skin and she choked out a laugh.

“What?”
“Lucky, the horse, came in first. Twenty to one odds Jess! That means we have ten thousand dollars!”

Again she choked and followed dumbly as Jeff led her to the counter and the clerk, with another bemused grin, handed over the ten thousand dollar winnings.

When they burst out into the mid-afternoon sunshine Jess felt as light as air. Jeff was laughing hysterically and hugged her again.

“Doesn’t this just make you want to sing?” he asked and danced on the spot.

Jess grinned and laughed as he danced around her.

“I just want to say this wouldn’t have happened without you Jess. We have to go halves on it.”

She waved her hands in front of her face and shook her head. “That was from your necklace. I can’t take the money.”

He laughed and stuffed five thousand into the top pocket of her jacket. “Jess, if you hadn’t given me the tip I would be standing here a poor man.”

“I’ll only take it if you promise not to go back in there again.”

His smile slipped slightly and he looked at her serious face. “You’re serious aren’t you?”

She nodded. “If you don’t do it for the money, do it for me.”

He looked at the money in his hand and then back at the shop.

“Do something with it Jeff, but don’t waste it. You are so much better than the streets are, all of the group are. We all deserve so much better than what we’ve had. Instead of just putting up with it, do something about it!”

He nodded slowly and then looked back up at her. “I promise Jess.”

“Good,” she said and smiled.

They began to walk sedately back up towards the bridge and began chatting about their plans.

“I’ve always wanted to own a boarding house.” Jeff grinned. “I want run it with my wife.” He said and looked at her with a grin.

“I’m sure Carol would be happy to oblige.” She said and laughed as Jeff looked shocked. “Surely you realise how much she loves you.”

He shook his head dumbfounded.

“Perhaps you should open your eyes in future huh?” she asked and poked him playfully.

He nodded but didn’t say another word.

As they approached the bridge Greg appeared from the hut and Carol arrived with a bag of what Jess suspected was a bag of stolen vegetables.

“Hi Jeff.” Carol said as they approached and Jess laughed outright as he waved spasmodically.

***************************************************************************************************************

Dinner was pleasant as always and, as it was such a pleasant evening, they all sat around the fire in a huddled mass, and began to discuss what was going to happen to the money Jeff had won.

He had already announced that he was going to buy a small house with the money had had won on top of what he already had from the necklace. If he could find a derelict one he would be able to fix it up by himself and get some people in, and begin his own boarding house.

He had offered Carol, Greg and Martyn first dibs on the rooms and they were already planning what colours should go where.

Carol turned to Jess and smiled. “What do you think Jess? You’re going to be living there too!”

Jess smiled sadly and shook her head and the group fell silent.

Jeff’s smiled dropped and he looked over at his friend. “You’re not coming?” he asked.

“I think it’s time I moved on.” She said gently. “I love you all and you’ve all been so good to me, but I think there’s more for me out there. I need to go and find it.”

“Where are you going to go?” asked Greg softly.

Jess sighed. “I dunno. I’m thinking about going to England. I’ve always wanted to go but I’ve never been able to.”

Greg nodded and looked down at his cup.

“You could sell some of your drawings.” Carol offered positively and Jess smiled. She had drawn on pavements with chalk stolen from the market and had drawn quite a crowd too. It had given her a decent wage in donations until she had been moved on by policemen.

“I could do that.”

“Or you could sing,” offered Martyn with a helpful smile.

She nodded. “Only if I’m desperate.” She said and soon the group was smiling, although the atmosphere was one of sadness.

Finally Jeff stood up with a tear in his eye and raised his cup. “I’d just like to say that the last year with you Jess has been wonderful, and you truly are a member of the Groundlings. I hope that England makes you very happy and that you have lots of friends and family around you.”

“And that you don’t forget us and keep in touch.” Said Carol with a quivering lip.

The group toasted her and Jess choked back a sob. They really had been her family for the last year and she had never felt so safe with a group of people as she had with these few.

“I promise to keep in contact, and there’ll always been a welcome for you in England.”

They chinked cups and then Greg produced another stolen record for the record player and they danced the rest of the night before falling exhausted but happy into their respective beds.