Vampire Python: Part 4

Eric sighed deeply. He couldn't believe it. It was now the twentieth take and everyone was wondering what was the deal with Mike. Everyone that is, except Eric. He knew exactly what the deal was....Mike was having trouble concentrating because of all the blood. It usually started out well enough with all of them, Carol and a few other extras imitating a victorian garden party. Graham would say "I say, Lionel, CATCH" and throw a tennis ball to Mike. Mike was supposed to let the ball hit him and hit his hand on his forehead where a little button lay in his palm activating the tubes going up his sleeve and starting off the fake bloodbath. The problem was Mike would let the ball hit, activate the tubes and then stare transfixed at the blood on his hand as he pulled it away...completely forgetting to scream. Now everyone was fed up with it. Usually the pythons, trying to be professional, only allowed three takes at the most. It was mainly because they didn't like multiple takes but it was also because multiple takes cost time and money, two things the BBC didn't give them in great quantities.
 
As they tried to get everything in order for another take, Eric motioned Mike over. As he walked over, Eric scratched at his uncomfortable suit and frowned at him....

"What's wrong with you, Michael? Why are you getting so worked up? It's not real blood, for Christ's sake."

Mike nodded sadly..

"I know that, Eric. But it looks realistic to me. Everytime I see it, I can't help but look at it. No matter how many times I tell myself not to."

"I thought you told me last night you could control your urges!"

Mike sighed...

"I can normally, but I haven't fed all day and It's just that I'm hungry. Plus, It's all the blood we're using, Eric. It's like being hungry for McDonald's and being in a room of Big Mac's."

Eric sighed deeply...

"I understand Mike. I really do. I know how hard it must be for you to go through this. But I don't think the others are gonna be as understanding as I am."

He nodded past Mike. He turned around to see John and Terry Jones in a heated conversation. They couldn't hear what they were saying but John kept pointing over to Mike angrily as Terry held up his hands for calm. Mike turned back to Eric...

"Mike, I'm betting he's over there now talking about how unprofessional you are. He probably thinks you are goofing off. I can tell Terry's trying to keep him from walking away now."

"Eric, John's looking for any excuse to leave the group, you know that! If it wasn't me, he'd be mad at something else. That's just the way he is."

"I know, Mike, but this certainly isn't helping matters any..."

He put a hand on Mike's shoulder...

"You have to try to focus, Mike. I know it's hard but you have to dig down and pull up the discipline you learned at Oxford. I'm not blaming you, Mike. But I'm the only one here who realizes the truth. I don't want everyone else to get mad at you because they think you are being unprofessional."

Mike nodded and looked behind his shoulder. John was by himself now. He was still standing in the same spot, hands across his chest as he glared at Mike. Mike watched as Eric stepped to the side of him and glared right back. After a moment of intense staredown, they saw John sigh and stomp off...

"Better stay out of his way, Mike. He's not gonna be in a good mood now for the rest of the night." Eric said. "God, I can't stand Cleese and his mood swings sometimes. It's amazing to me that he's four years older than any of us and yet he acts like such a baby! I'm beginning to wonder if we shouldn't put him in a pair of nappies."

Eric and Mike looked at each other and broke out in a fit of giggles. As they stood laughing they saw John walk back up to Terry with his hands on his hips and talk to him some more. As he finally finished, he turned and fixed Mike and Eric with a look that caused them to break out in more giggles. John stopped and stared for a moment before shaking his head and walking away from the two pythons who were now in hysterics...

Finally after an hour, they finally got the set cleared of enough of the fake blood to continue. By that time, it was near 8 at night and the scene that had started out in the afternoon light now had to be lit with fake light. John was fuming at everyone in general and Mike in particular. As Mike stood waiting to catch the ball, John stomped
up to him...

"This better be the last take, Palin." He said before stomping away.

As he passed by Eric, He stopped and stared at him as Eric gave him a hateful glare...

"What, Idle? Aren't you a little tired of doing take after take?" John said testily. "I know I am..."

"I am, John. But unlike you, I have self control and I don't take out my anger and frustration on other people" Eric spat back.

John stared at him with his mouth and his eyes wide open. Mike watched as once again, they had a staredown. He wished he could summon up the courage to face John like that. Finally, as the director called for places, John broke off the gaze and stomped to the piano, mumbling curses at Eric and Mike.

Eric put his hand up to his face and made sure his fake moustache was on well enough as he rolled his eyes at Mike...

"Remember, Mike. Focus." He said.

Mike nodded and cleared his throat. He was determined to get it right...

Eric turned his back to Mike and got in position as the director yelled "Action"

Immediately, the scowl left John's face as he got into character. However, when it was almost time for Mike's cue he managed to shoot Mike a warning glance once before the camera focused back on him...

Finally it was Mike's cue. Graham held the ball up and said..."I say, Lionel...Catch!" He threw the ball and Mike let it hit his head and smacked his head with his hand. Willing himself to go on, he held his hand against his forehead and screamed as the tube in his arm splurted out blood in front of him. He closed his eyes..not only to avoid the fake blood getting into his eyes, but also to avoid seeing the blood at all. He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the sketch go on around him. He opened his eyes a peek to see Eric slam the piano door down on John's two fake hands. As John looked up with a look of horror on his face, the tubes that were hidden in his jacket began to squirt blood out of the cuffs. Mike closed his eyes again to avoid spoiling the scene as all around him fake blood flowed and screams pierced the quiet of the
night...

****

"I'm proud of you, Mike! You finally managed to pull it off!" Eric said as he pulled up to Mike's apartment block.

"Yeah, It took all the willpower I had, but I did it!" Mike said tiredly.

"Are you going to bed? We have to have the dress rehearsal early in the morning, you know!" Eric said.

"Not just yet, I have to feed before I do. I can't stand it any longer." Mike said holding his stomach.

Eric stared at him and then shook his head...

"Damn that bitch, Rebecca!" Eric said angrily. "I hope she gets a bloody stake through her heart."

Mike snorted...

"You and me both!"

He got out of the car and noticed Eric looking ahead with an odd look on his face....

"What? What is it?" Mike asked suddenly worried.

"You do know that I have that scene at the end of the show where I supposedly get shot up and all that blood comes out of me?" Eric said looking at him.

Mike closed his eyes and groaned...

"Oh perfect!" He said under his breath. "It's bad enough I have to keep my control with you guys, now I'll have the studio audience to worry about too!"

"You'll get through it, Mike. I have faith in you! Besides, John will knock your block off if you don't. What more motivation do you need to get it on the first take?"

Mike laughed. He shut the car door and waved as Eric drove off. He waited until he was out of sight before he slipped off into the darkness to feed....



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